Stupid Inventions

Do you have a cold? Is your nose running profusely? Do you dislike the use of Klenex? Do you like strage hats? Do you like to start fashion trends?
This is that hat for you… Not only will this hat clean up the snot that continually runs from your enflamed nostrils (they would be enflamed because toilet paper is not as soft as Klenex with lotion), but it will either build or break your societal status. You have a 50/50 chance of starting a trend or becoming the neighborhood weirdo that is just plain sick (literally). 
Pros and Cons to this attire:
Pros: If you ever need to pop a squat in the woods (or in an alley) you won’t have to air dry, or use a leaf or something. Gross.
If anyone else needed to pop a squat you will be their best friend. I would advise giving them some before…
If that nasty mall bathroom is out of TP then you will not have to worry!
If your watching the notebook and you begin to bawl and your makeup starts running all over your face, you can wipe it all away.
You can get the TP with little pictures on it. Like flowers or superheros. I personally wouldn’t because I feel bad for Batman and Robin. It’s hard being a superhero.
On your wedding day you would have an extremely unique vail.
Most likely this trend will never catch on.
Your friends will disown you.
People would give you nicknames like “TP head” and probably some other vulgar nicknames that I won’t name.
You would probably die in a car wreck due to TP constantly being in your face.
Need I say more?
To the creator of this TP hat… WHY!? Are you really that lazy!? You can’t carry around a little pack of Klenex in your pocket? But, I do thank you. You have entertained me very much so….

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