This is how beautiful feels: What A Peach!

I am really excited to have my first "This is how beautiful feels" guest post (you can check out the project HERE)! I am even more excited that Kit (my old blogging buddy) from What A Peach accepted the challenge! She is a wonderful girl who lives in London and blogs about music, photography, life in London, musicals, and so much more! Take it away Kit.

Let me start off by saying that, like most women, I have plenty of little gripes about my appearance. But one thing I’ve never hated (which certain members of society might say I should) is the colour of my hair. I’m a redhead. A super proud ginger. My locks are fire-y, alluding to my temper which can (very rarely) surface.  I’m passionate, fantastical and sensitive. Not that my hair can take all the blame for my personality, despite traditional assumptions and new scientific studies, but it sure helps me stand out! And as I’ve got older, I’ve felt so thankful that there is something about me that is quickly recognisable, a bit rare and sometimes a talking point (!)

Growing up, I read Pippi Longstocking, watched my Anne of Green Gables tapes and was regularly told by strangers how much I looked like Little Orphan Annie! Now, I use my hair like an accessory- usually making it as big as I can for nights on the town rather than throwing on lots of jewellery. This is because I’m finally starting to embrace another feature of my hair- the curls.

Oh boy, did this take a while to reconcile myself to! I wanted to be the little girl whose hair was long and glossy and reached to her bum, not the one whose hairdresser forgot that as her hair dried and curled it would shorten, thus rendering a perfectly respectable cut on wet hair utterly ridiculous on dry.

I used to flippantly say that I wouldn’t have children because I didn’t want to subject them to curly hair and I would dream of being able to straighten my own.  Now, I think I look ridiculous with straight hair (and don’t have the patience for two hours with GHDs!)

So, it took me a while to love my curls and while I’m pretty sure I’ll never look glossy and put together just by running a brush through them, I’m learning to be keen on my locks as I continue to learn the best way to look after them.

I’m hoping this is a good example of learning to love an aspect of your appearance you don’t like.  It may take many years (I’d say it took me over 20 years to begin to understand my hair- and it still surprises me most weeks as it seems to have its own inconsistent personality). Get on with it, flaunt it, the most difficult feature may be the bit people flatter you most for.

And of course it’s not all about how others react to you, you’ll feel stronger and surer of yourself the more you embrace your perceived flaws- and they may turn into your favourite bits!

So, what bit of your body that you might not like is really awesome and different? Your super long legs? A mole? A defined nose? Have a think about a bit of your appearance you don’t like and try to find something positive about it. Chances are someone out there is jealous of your skinny fingers, large earlobes or that gap in your tooth!

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Thanks Kit for sharing! I love it! I have definitely experienced the same thing in my life.

Throughout the next couple of months I am going to have more guest posters come here and talk about self image and beauty.Like Kit, they will be sharing personal experiences of how they have overcome (or are working to overcome) beauty struggles. My aim is to address all of the issues women face today with love, support, kindness, progress, goals, ideas, strength, and friendship. The goal is to help women know how beautiful feels.

So if you want to be a part of the project please comment, share, and/or email me! I would love to hear your stories and most importantly be your friend! If your interested in guest posting shoot me an email and tell me a little bit about yourself and what you want to talk about in the post! I am excited to create a support group of beautiful women to love and care for one another.

Email me at carli.randolf@gmail.com

Carli

This is how beautiful feels.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the struggles women face because of media and other sources that make these beautiful women feel like they aren't. I know what it's like to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and not like the person staring back at you. I spent many long years awaiting the day when I would look in the mirror and smile at the girl looking back. I really felt like I was still stuck in the awkward phase of my life even after high school. I compared myself to others with extremely judging eyes and tried so hard to be something I wasn't. I don't think I am that wrong when I say that most women have felt the same.

This is really hard for me to admit... but, I struggled with acne for many years. I tried everything from Proactive to home remedies. Aside from the pain of acne, my heart ached every time I caught a glimpse of my face or saw a picture of myself online. I tried my best to stay out of pictures that I had no control of. I almost obsessively edited every little pimple off my face before I let anyone else see any pictures of me. Not only was it frustrating, but I felt like I was hiding behind the magic of photoshop. I felt like I couldn't be myself. Along with the acne, I had braces until the beginning of this year. I watched my friends grow up to be stunningly beautiful women while I felt like a middleschooler. Then one night I was complaining to my roommate about my acne and how terrible I felt. I was to the point where I was so sick of it that I often wished that I could buy a new face. My roommate was so kind and understanding and helped me to feel a little better. She suggested that I go see a dermatologist (something I had never thought of). That next week I set up an appointment but didn't expect miracles. I had been to the doctor before and had taken medication and used topical creams that seemed to do nothing but dry out my face. My new dermatologist recommended Acutane. I was skeptical, but decided to give it a shot anyways. After the first two months I started seeing a  difference, and my face began to heal. Apart from the symptoms of my skin being extremely dry, I started to feel better about myself. After six months of treatment I am happy to say that I am acne free!
(I am not at all promoting Acutane. It was just the only thing that worked for me. I understand that the drug may not be right for everyone and you can talk to your doctor about using it.)

The other morning I woke up, looked in the mirror, and smiled. For the first time in a long time I felt truly beautiful. I thought to myself "This is how beautiful feels." I didn't feel like I had to wear a ton of makeup to cover my face. I was happy! I even laughed with joy! Today I did an experiment. I took pictures of myself, and for the first time I  didn't edit out any blemishes, but a few under eye wrinkles... I am still working on not editing at all... but it is a huge step from where i started!

Ok so this story might be a little misleading to the reason why I told the story in the first place. I am in no way saying that in order to feel beautiful you must be acne free. One of my biggest regrets is not seeing how truly beautiful I really am and was all those years I thought otherwise. It is still a work in progress. I still have days where I have the same old terrible feelings about myself, but I am trying to remember what I have learned and apply it. There is no doubt that women make this world go round. We are all beautiful inside and out. We each hold a light inside of us that we need to let shine. Don't ever forget who you are, where you have come from, and where you are going. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't beautiful, even if it's yourself.

Throughout the next couple of months I want to have guest posters come here and talk about self image and beauty. I want them to share personal experiences and how they have overcome (or are working to overcome) beauty struggles. My aim is to address all of the issues women face today with love, support, kindness, progress, goals, ideas, strength, and friendship. The goal is to help women know how beautiful feels.

So if you want to be a part of the project please comment, share, and/or email me! I would love to hear your stories and most importantly be your friend! If your interested in guest posting shoot me an email and tell me a little bit about yourself and what you want to talk about in the post! I am excited to create a support group of beautiful women to love and care for one another.

Email me at carli.randolf@gmail.com

Carli

Life.

I have been thinking a lot about where my life is heading. I have been making plans for the future… both immediate and far off futures. I have been thinking about my move to Provo next fall, and my plans for the summer, and my plans for a career. For once in my life it seems as if my dreams are actually in reach. I finally have chosen a dream that is actually a likely possibility. Not the 1 in 1,000,000,000 chance of being a successful musician, or of being the first person to play an instrument on Mars, or winning the lottery and buying a house in Europe and eating breakfast every morning on my rooftop patio. I have decided that as hard as it is to have a successful handmade shop I just want to make that my career. Whether I open an actual shop or travel the country and sell in craft shows, or both.

This is not what I intended talking about today. I guess I am trying to avoid my actual topic because it scares me… It has taken me an awfully long time to actually sit down and write this post.

I really have been feeling that I should openly talk about self image, not only to get my feelings off my chest, but to help myself and others to get over this plague that haunts many women and men around the world. 

We have all seen the campaigns to help eradicate self image issues on T.V or online only to be confronted with another ad that makes you feel as if you are worthless just seconds later.

Confessions: Far too often I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and just want to crawl back into my bed and wallow in self pity. Far too often I push through that and get dressed and go throughout the day worrying of my appearance. Far too often I spend hours editing my blemishes out of pictures of myself because I am too embarrassed to let any one see them. Far too often I don’t style my hair the way I want too because I feel like I need to use my bangs to hide my face from the world. Far too often do I wish that I had the qualities of others. I think that we all get the gist… and I think that everyone can relate to that in some way. I kind of feel like I am in this between stage of my life… I often think to myself “Soon you will have no braces and no acne and you will be beautiful… You can make it until then… Right?”  That affirmation gets me through my day. 

I didn’t write this blog post to fish for compliments. I did this because I want to document my feelings. I want to use this as a way for me to get over the hardness I feel towards myself. I want to be able to come back and read this and be reminded of my struggles and how I have worked to overcome them. I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t feel like I am of any worth. I know that I am of worth. I do love myself. I am happy that I am me. I am also grateful for the issues that I have gone through and continue to sort out because I wouldn’t be ME without them. I know that I am my worst critic, and maybe I don’t always feel this way, but I do know that I am beautiful. 

A word of advice…. (and I am not saying this because I have successfully accomplished this state of mind. It is more of a philosophy.) Don’t let your mind diminish your beauty. Don’t let worldly ideals steal away your pride. Don’t let popular culture cover up who you are, & never forget that you are wonderful.

Carli