What In The World Am I Doing?!

I often think to myself “What in the world am I doing?!” in moments when I honestly don’t know what I am doing. Like when I have to wake up for work at 7:00 and it is 11:00 and I am sitting on the couch with my little laptop on my lap and browsing things that I have already browsed on the Internet. I cannot bring myself to get off my lazy bum and go to bed. This scenario happens extremely often. Maybe 6 out of 7 days a week. But I do say… I value my sleep enormously. I don’t think there has ever been a day where my roommate has gone to bed before I.

What I am trying to say is that I incoherently do things. Strange strange things. I then catch myself doing them and become frusterated with myself.

Example #2:

So my best buddy Courtney once said to me “Carli what is that weird noise you are making?!” I sheepishly replied. “Um… I didn’t know I was making a weird noise.” She then told me that I had been making a strange noise. The same scenario occurred over and over again until we finally figured it out. I have a habit of holding my breath in and letting it out extremely slowly when I am concentrating on something which creates a strange sound. I must have been doing this all my life and never knew. I just caught myself doing it a moment ago, while a woman was standing next to my desk at work. What if she heard!?!? What if she has the same habit? What if she doesn’t?! What if she thinks I am strange? What if I am strange?!

I just realized something that would make me very strange but also awesome. I have absolutely no idea how long I hold my breath in before I have to breath in again. It could be one minute, five minute, an hour… I don’t know! I just tested it but I don’t think it works when I am aware of what I am doing. What if I can hold my breath in for extremely long times when I am not aware I am doing it! How cool would that be… I hope that my special gift does not cause brain damage…

Carli