Growing Up.

Isn’t it funny how we spend our whole lives wishing we were older. Old enough to live away from home. Not have our parents dictate everything we want to do. To have freedom. To be on our own…. Then once we get there we wish we could reverse time? Or stop it all together. 

Today I turned 20. I have been awaiting this day for quite some time. Now that it is here I have suddenly shifted from the “I want to be a grown up!” mode to the “I don’t want to get any older.” This all happened this morning as I was getting ready for work. I took a long look in the mirror and thought “In ten years I will be thirty.” That scared me to death. I am not ready to be anywhere close to thirty. But then I think about ten years ago when I was only ten. It took quite a long time for me to age ten years. Possibly the slowest years of my life. 

Time… I just have a simple request. Move a little slower. Please.

I’ve been thinking about the past 20 years of my life. Who I thought I would be and where I am now. According to my 8 year old self, I was going to be either an astronaut or a veterinarian by now. Apparently I had no idea what kind of schooling both of those would require. 

Here are some memories of mine…

Every morning when I was 4 or 5 I would run into the living room and stand on my tiptoes before my parents and say “Am I taller?” 

I loved to rollerblade around my house while talking on the phone. 

When riding int the hot air balloon with my Dad I would look out the little foot holes because I wasn’t tall enough to see over the edge of the basket or I was too afraid to stand. 

Growing up in a neighborhood of boys, I would often run around with out a shirt on. 

I came home from school every day to watch power rangers. Then would go to the park and reenact the episode with my friends. My favorite power ranger was the green one.

I had a habit of climbing onto peoples roofs. Especially my next door neighbor Mr. Peas house.

I would play Dungeons and Dragons in the back yard every weekend with the neighborhood kids.

In the summer we filled up huge barrels of water and sat in them. One day they put the lid on top and I almost drowned.

I had a purple Mongoose bike with pegs on the front and the back. Needless to say that I was pretty much awesome.

I secretly like Barbies.

The only time I was truly grounded was when I rode my bike to Long John Silvers with a kid named Anthony.

I saved my red headed friend Kent from bullies on a daily basis. One day they tied him to the ground with fishing wire and kicked him. I kicked the bully in his manly parts.

I climbed on the roof of King High School with the help of a janitor to retrieve my dads model rocket. 

Courtney and I went camping at Lake Mathis and explored the animal trails. We then realized we were covered in ticks. GROSS!

I spent a lot of time having picnics on the beach with Kait, Courtney, and Andy. Drinking chocolate milk and jamming.

The first song I learned on the guitar was a Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. 

I loved sliding in soapy kitchen floors with Kristy and Courtney.

I never went to prom. Nor do I regret it.

I now have a Canadian roommate that can do a jig.

I have the best parents.

Time flies when your having fun. Never forget your past. It builds your future.

Carli

Time.

I’ve been thinking about time today.

Why does it pass so slowly, and then so fast?

Why is time so important to us? We care for it as we care for our most cherished memories or most loved people. We spend the beginning of our lives dancing around it hoping that it will move a little faster only to get upset by the way it ages us. We give up on things because there’s not enough time to pull through, but time sometimes is the reason we do pull through. We calculate and recalculate time down to the second.

I guess time is just like a secret that no one can keep.

All this thought of time has gotten me to think about what I am doing with my time. Am I doing my self justice? I’m a using it wisely?

I wonder if we are each given a certaint amount of time and if there is some sort of time keeper that sits upon our shoulders with his pocket watch in hand timing us. Maybe if we use our time right he may give us a few more seconds to do what we please with. I wonder if he worries about or welfare or if he is just counting the seconds until our time is up so that he can move on to some other persons shoulder who may give him a better altitude. And does altitude change time? If I were in outerspace and watching the earth spin around and around like it always has done would time go faster or slower or be the same? If it went by slower would people be more prone to the idea of living on a space center that’s overlooks the earth just because they would have more time? But we would most likely age the same… right? When asked what is most important to a person I would bet that most people would say their children or spouse or parents or other significant people in a persons life. But actually underneith their stament of importance they are really saying that the time with those significant people is of up most importance. We are a world not ruled by kings and queens, presidents, the law, or other hiarchies. We are ruled by time. It is the one thing that keeps moving even when everything else stops.

I believe I have gone too far with this thought of time. Carli