Dear Diary

Well, it's been over a year since I have even looked at this blog. I'm fairly certain I haven't even thought about it in that amount of time, but lately I have been feeling like I need to start recording my life somewhere. I've experimented with paper diaries more times than I can count and I've always struggled to keep up with them. It makes me a little sad that I can never commit to that because there's something so much more personal about a physical representation of a life, but alas, I recognize that I have lost the fight with that. I started looking for diary/journal apps, and I didn't feel committed enough to actually purchase something the record my thoughts on. Then this little space came to mind and since I am fairly certain no one really reads this this may be a good place to start. So here I am...

Dear Diary,
The past couple of years have been quite the whirlwind. I've done a lot of growing, changing, and developing. I think that I have been fighting this strange battle against myself for quite sometime and I feel like I'm finally nearing the end of that. The only thing that seems appropriate at this moment is me putting a #winning on like everything. I know, that's about as cliche as I can get, but it's a thing for me I guess. I'll try not to rub it in...

At this exact moment (2:54 pm on Monday November 24th) I am sitting across from the gelato case at Coffee Waves in good ole CC. Maybe this is why I feel this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. I mean, this place holds a lot of memories. Actually, CC holds a lot of memories that I believe have defined my entire existence. I often think back to those days when Courtney, Kait, and I would sit on the beach eating pizza and dreaming about the future. It's funny to think that we are now living on the other side of that and I think no one has the life they were dreaming about. That's the thing though, everything we were dreaming about became a lot less important to us. We discovered that we wanted more than those simple dreams. Bigger and better things came our way. Don't get me wrong, life has been anything less than easy. I'm kinda blown away by how stressful, difficult, and scary life can be. Lately, all of these super cliche quotes have been coming to mind. "The end justifies the means" and "nothing worth doing is easy". I laugh because this is totally not me to spout out all these quotes in the moments that call for them, but sometimes they just make more sense than you want them too.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that there's something about us dreamers. I've never been content with just being. In fact, I've never been "content" with anything. There's always something else. Sometimes I wonder if this is selfish of me. Is it bad that I always want to do and be more? But then I remind myself that I have the ability to do something beautiful and inherently good. I have been blessed with talents that can uplift others. I've been blessed with a mind that is focused on creating. It's scary how easy it is for me to forget that. It's scary how easy it is for me to think badly of myself. This is the fight we all fight. Am I right?

C

This is my life.

This photo pretty much sums up my life right now, but more especially the past three weeks. I laugh (and weep) when I look at this photo because this was actually taken Halloween night. I literally did nothing for Halloween. Actually, that's not true. I went to a Halloween dance but left like five minutes later because it sucked and I didn't have a costume and I had a crap ton of homework. So my pal Jess and I headed to the library and actually had a pretty good time talking whispering in between studying.

This semester I am trying really hard to dive into school and stay on top of things. At the beginning of the semester I told myself, "Carli, don't be stressed." I am actually quite surprised about how well that has worked. I have noticed that my "long" and "terrible" days are actually fairly "ok" days. Sometimes even "good" days. Maybe it is because I like the things I am learning, or something like that? Who knows...

What I am trying to get at is that as rough as college is, I love it. At the end of the day I am always so proud of what I have accomplished and learned. Oh, by the way... I got into my major! If you have been reading this blog for a while, you might remember how many times I changed my major/was worried about getting into a major. It is such a relief to not have to worry about that crap anymore. Like, for reals. Now I just have to worry about graduating...

Carli.

Letter to me.

(Accidental photo that ended up being double exposure, and pretty awesome.)

It has been a little too long since I have posted anything here. That's ok though, because I am sure no one has even noticed. Sometimes I think about blogging and then don't. Sometimes I type out a blog post and then delete it. I don't know why. Maybe it is because I don't feel like I have much to say. I would be surprised if I even publish this. So if you happen to be reading this... well, cool.

The other day I was studying at the library. Well, I wasn't really studying because I was on Facebook. It happens... I don't know what I clicked, but I accidentally clicked something and it took me to page that shows me what my newsfeed looked like a year ago that day. The first thing that popped up was a picture of one of my good friends leaving for his mission. That day was a pretty big deal to me, and to him. I freaked out because I couldn't even begin to understand how a year had already passed! I got home later that night and I looked at the picture on my wall of my friend and I from that day. I looked at me in that picture and just said, "If you only knew what is ahead of you." Then I laughed to myself. This past year was HARD. There were nights where I literally couldn't sleep because I was sick with stress about, school, work, family, my future, etc. There were days where I literally just wanted to hide under a rock. There were so many phone calls to my mom (I literally used all my minutes on my phone one month... does that even happen?!). There were a lot of tears. I spent a lot of time hating myself for not being good enough, skinny enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and the list goes on. After I thought about all that crap, I realized something. Something that should be sooooooo much more obvious than it is. I am so incredibly blessed. Yeah, it was hard and it sucked sometimes, but this year has been one of the best. I have done so much growing that I hardly even recognize some of the things I have posted on this blog. I was so naive.

If I could write a letter to the me in that picture I would say so many things. Maybe I will write a letter... Here it goes,
"Hey there. You probably think you don't know me, but you know me way more than you think. I know you think that you know it all, but don't count on that. Your plans are going to change so much. You are going to feel lost, alone, and disappointed. You are going to feel a lot of pain, regret, and sadness. Don't worry though, you will feel immense amounts of happiness and love too. Right when you are about to break something will make you whole again. Trust me when I say, it gets better. You start to love yourself more. You get smarter. You find a major. You get into that major. You meet some of the greatest people to walk the earth. You make a lot of progress. You are happy. Just wait a little longer and you will be there. When I say there, I don't mean THERE. THERE takes a lifetime. There is a place where you know that you are on the right path. You feel strong, confident, and loved. Look forward to the next year. It will be one of the best you ever had."

Sorry, not sorry. This post was a long sappy drawn out whatever. It wasn't for you. It was for me. I think I just needed to--actually, I don't have to explain myself. If you did read this, cool. Thanks for reading and come again? I hope to post a bit more often, but this isn't going to one of those blogs where I pretend my life is perfect when I know it is not. I am only saying that because this blog used to be a place where I pretended my life was perfect and worried about followers and crap like that. I don't care about that anymore. This blog is for me. If for some reason you are inspired by what I have to say, you are welcome anytime. :)

Peace out,

Carli

4 years.

Four years ago today I was baptized and became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was, by far, the best decision I have ever made. I have received so many wonderful blessings because of that decision and my continued faithful and righteous pursuits. My testimony is continually strengthened and I have found myself doing things that I thought weren't even possible for me. I recognize God's hand in my life, and I am so grateful for the people He has placed on my path to help me shine. I have come so far in the past four years and I shudder to think about where I would be without the church in my life. It has given me the strongest of foundations to build my life upon. This is my testimony.

Not that this photo has anything to do with the topic, but we all hate it when blog posts have no pictures. Am I right?

Carli

Latest Obsession: I'm Just Trying To Be Cool.

When this video came out last month I literally watched it over and over again. Then the other day I rediscovered it and watched it some more. Then, just now I rediscovered it and I had to share. Because this has literally been my latest/reoccurring obsession.

Carli out.

#instalife

Yay! I have finally gotten to the more recent instas! And when I say recent I actually mean that these are from almost two months ago.

-> Several of these pictures are from my vacation to California. I love the one taken from the end of the Santa Monica pier. I just can't get over how beautiful the west coast is. The beaches are stunning. Growing up 10 minutes away from the beach in Texas has always been the best, but Padre Island is like the ghetto of beaches when compared to the few I visited when I was in Cali.

-> Another one of my favorite pictures in this group is the one of the abandoned church. It is located in the middle of nowhere New Mexico and literally every time we make the drive to and from Utah we stop there to snap a couple shots. It is stunning.

-> It makes me a little sad to look at the pictures of me and my Provo friends because I miss them sooo much. Only two more weeks!

-> The picture in the bottom right corner is of me wearing the first shirt I made this summer. I made it for the 4th of July. Sadly, after a series of unfortunate events I didn't really get to wear it for any cool festivities on the 4th... but we won't get into that story because it is long and sad.

Love,

@carlifries84

Clothing Revival

I have always had this terrible habit of going thrift shopping and walking out of the store with items that I would't wear without a little to a lot of alteration. Maybe it is because when I thrift shop I try EVERYTHING on. OK, no... not everything... but I grab anything that has at least one good quality (shape, fabric, fit, length, collar, etc.) and then I try it on. Then I buy those things because they have potential. It makes me sad to see something ugly that could be beautiful and unique with just a little TLC.
Once I get home I throw that ugly item into a huge box that is my "To Fix" box. Those clothes sit in there for days, weeks, months, and sadly... even years until one day I dig through the box, try some of them on, remember why I bought them, and then come up with a way to revive them. This dress I bought a year and a half ago. I forgot to take a picture of it before I ripped this nasty ricrac and ruffle monster that was on the bottom. You probably don't even want to see it anyways... After I took that crap off it was a little too short for my liking. I spent some time pinning different laces to the bottom trying to find something that I liked. I really didn't want to have to go to Joanns and buy something since I have such a huge collection of lace at home. As I was digging through my enormous pile of fabric I found a white scalloped table runner that my mom gave me last year. Basically it was perfect! I sliced it in half and sewed it onto the bottom. Then I shortened the sleeves. This project literally took me an hour (if you don't count the removal of the ruffles... that took forever) and most of that time was spent looking for something to add to the bottom.
I just love how easy it is to take something that costs so little, something that no one else saw the potential in, and turn it into something beautiful and not to mention unique.

Carli

Insta-life.

Most of these pictures are from the little over a month that I stayed in Utah after school ended before heading home to Texas. Basically all I did that month was work and play.

• I spent a lot of time at my old roommates apartments since I had no new friends at my new apartment besides my engaged roommate. Later, I moved into an apartment all by myself after Jessica got married. I wont be alone in the apartment when I get back but I lived alone for 2 weeks. It was super weird/surprisingly awesome. 
• At my old rommies apartments, people that actually lived there thought that I lived there too since I was there so much. We did some pretty cool stuff: One day we all took turns blowing fire. Pretty dang awesome I must say.
• We also rented a puppy. Yeah, you read that right... we RENTED it. There is a local business in Provo that rents out puppies to college students for an hourly rate. After the puppy gets to be a certain age they put them up for adoption. Basically this is genius since us college students don't get to have pets. When I first moved to Provo I had some animal love withdrawals. Any time I would see an animal I would get all excited and emotional and probably freaked out the owner when I ran up to see if they would let me pet it. We rented Rodney and spent 2 bliss filled hours playing with him.
• Another huge event of that month was the birth of my besties baby boy Lincoln. The little (or should I say huge) guy was 10 pounds 9 ounces!!!! He literally looked like a 3 month old. That picture of him sprawled on his bed still gets me. This was literally an hour and a half after birth! I was so excited to hold him a couple days later. So cute. Can't wait to get back up to Utah and snuggle with him.

Basically that was a great month. Looking at these pictures makes me miss all of my Provo friends even more than I already do. Can;t wait to be back in less than a month!!!!

Carli

P.S. I Made This: Retro.

This week I made Butterick Pattern 4790 out of a vintage bed sheet that I think came from my grandmother. The dress is a wrap dress and really confused me for a while while I was making it. "Um... what?!" I ended up not really following the instructions very much and then getting really frustrated. I am the "look at the pictures and not read anything" kind of person so often I mess up, get really mad, and then have to go back and read and fix everything. Overall the dress was pretty easy to make. I don't know if you can tell, but shhh.... I haven't finished hemming it yet. I literally have spent hours hemming it by hand, but since the skirt is so full I am barely to the halfway mark. My only complaint is that I am not a big fan of how the dress shifts when you wear it. I constantly have to make sure that everything is in place or I look frumpy and/or not modest.

Happy Sewing!
Carli

P.S. I love the Monkees. Especially on vinyl.

Beaching.

Today Tabby and I went to the beach. Tabs is not as big of a beach fan as I am, but said that she really wanted to go at least once this summer before we head back up to Utah. I jumped at the chance since none of my friends are here in Texas anymore so when I come back home I get REALLY bored. and worst of all... I have no one to go to the beach with, so I don't end up going as much as I want to. Today was perfect. We brought a blanket, some drinks, and some sandwiches and had a good time talking, eating, and getting a little scared in the water. Haha. I love the beach, but the water freaks me out a little especially when other people are outwardly scared I get more scared. Since Tabs and I were both a little nervous about going to far, we ended up spending a lot of time being pushed around in the shallow as the waves rolled in. We liked it.
I also loved how I was able to continue some of my old beach traditions. Back in the good ole days my friends and I would come have picnics at the beach. During the day we would go to swim and sunbathe. I don't really know how this got started, but it was always my thing to bring a big bottle of chocolate milk to the beach with me. I know what your thinking... why would you want to drink chocolate milk on a blazing hot day at the beach? I honestly do not even know why. It just was my thing and I kinda liked it. Also, Texas has the best chocolate milk. I have tried chocolate milk other places and it doesn't even compare. BYU Creamery milk comes pretty close but no dice. Anyways... I just had to have my chocolate milk on the beach today. It brought back so many memories. I even got Tabby into it. Now I just need to come back to the beach at night with some friends, a blanket to sit on, a guitar, and a pizza. There is not a lot to do in Corpus other than the beach. So we would often spend hours and hours trying to think of something cool to do, but somehow we would always end up at the beach really late at night. We called it nighttiming (you know... like the Coconut Records song?!). We always talked about our future and our big dreams. It is so crazy to think that we are living that time we always talked about, but even more crazy how different reality is from our expectations. We aren't where we thought we would be, but somehow it has worked out for the better. Since I have been home I just haven't been able to get over thinking about growing up here. I miss all the friends, the good times we had, the memories. It's hard to be here without it. All we wanted was to get away and follow our dreams, but sometimes I just want to be back in the good ole days. That line that Andy said in the last episode of The Office is so true and so fitting.

"I wish there was a way to know that you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

Carli

P.S. A little too much nostalgia going on over here.

Insta-life.

Some of these pictures date way back to March... yeah.

Noteworthy Instas:

Top Left Corner- I made that mens tailored shirt that John is wearing for a sewing class assignment. I must say that I did a pretty dang good job.

Second Row, Second Column- From the night we lit a small wooden boat on fire and launched it down the provo river.

Third Row, Third Column- Our apartment's Super Mario Brothers skit. The best ever.

Fourth Row, Second and Third Column- My roommates gave me so many surprises on my birthday, including Color Me Mine!

Carli

P.S. I made this.

My numero uno goal for this summer was to make a completely new wardrobe. I am starting a new job in the fall (as a sewing class TA!!!) and I really want pieces that are nice and professional for work but also something that I wouldn't mind wearing to school everyday since my shift is between classes. I had a job at the beginning of the summer, before I moved home, that I could only wear a dress to. I love dresses, but I started hating the fact that I had to wear a dress to work everyday; let alone the same dresses over and over. Basically I am trying to create a versatile collection of shirts, skirts, and dresses that I can mix and match better. Also, since I am going to be a sewing TA I thought that I better get to bettering my sewing skills so that when the time comes to actually teach students how to sew difficult things I actually have lots of experience. My goal is to sew at least two new articles of clothing a week! I thought it would be a hard goal to achieve, but I think I should probably bump it up to three! So after that long preface....

Here is shirt number THREE!

 I used Butterick Pattern 5817 and it was super duper easy. It took me two days, but that is only because I took many Netflix breaks (catching up on Arrested Development). I made a few adjustments aside from the basic pattern alterations (I added a little length since I am pretty tall). Because I am not a big fan of neck facings (I think that they are a hassel, I am always having to tuck it back into the shirt!) I decided to do a full lining. Why? Quality is probably the biggest reason. I dont want it to fall apart after a couple of seasons. A full lining helps the garment to last. Another reason is that the neck egde looks flatter. Like I said before... I hate it when those facings come out! It is a little bit more pricy and more time consuming to do a full lining but I really think that it makes the garment better all around. If you have any questions about my method I would love to answer any questions and/or tell you how I did it. Just know that I am in no way a pro. I make mistakes ALL THE TIME. Seriously. but that is part of the learning process. Am I right?!

Carli

P.S. Please excuse my silly modeling. Dont have a clue what I am doing...
P.P.S. I'll share shirt one and two laterz.

Latest Obsession: Mayer Hawthorne

Just can't get over this guy. I haven't been able to stop listening to his stuff since the first moment I heard it. I am a huge fan of the oldies already, but his soul-infused records that sound like they came right out of the late 60's make Mayer Hawthorne my lastest obsession.

Carli

Wedding Photographer.

Today I had the privilege of photographing my very first wedding. The bride and groom were absolutely adorable and so in love. I am so glad to not only have gotten to take pictures of their special day, but to just be there to witness such a strong and sacred bond. My heart is so full. I was so excited when they asked me to be their photographer but along with the excitement came the nervousness. I have done little shoots for friends (engagements, family portraits, parties, etc.) before but nothing this significant. Nothing this meaningful. Nothing this sacred. I prayed many times that I would at least get some decent photos. One thing that I learned today was that being a photographer is not easy! The lighting (and temperature) conditions were less than ideal. It was flipping hot! and besides the fact that I am pretty sure I was on the verge of having a heat stroke by the end of it, I really surprised myself. I learned that I needed to be assertive. It's hard to get everyone to cooperate! I also learned that while everyone was miserable out in that heat (especially me) I had to put that aside and be happy, fun, and slightly ridiculous. There were times when I looked through my viewfinder all I saw were unhappy faces. I had to crack jokes and basically make a fool of myself in front of a bunch of strangers and friends to get them to remember (or at least look like they remembered) what a happy occasion it was.

Today helped me to realize a lot of things. As much as I love being behind the camera, I don't think I wan to do this as a career. Or at least the wedding aspect. All my friends keep telling me to start and "on the side" photography business. Don't get me wrong, that is a great idea! but today helped me to realize that photography will always be a hobby for me. I don't mind (and frankly, would love) to photograph for friends and family, but not for a career. For all you professionals out there, you guys are saints. It's not as easy as you make it look. Thanks for being the person to capture so much.

Congrats Phillip and Damaris!

Carli

Maybe I'll post a couple of the photos I took...

West Coast. Best Coast.

Wow. I am literally the worst blogger ever. Besides the fact that I haven't posted in a million years, the last several times I have posted I have promised to blog more often and I haven't. Obviously this isn't my thing anymore.... Regardless, I have a lot that I would like to share with you. No promises though.

In June I got to go to California for the very first time. A friend was getting married so I spent a week having adventures with friends that I havent seen in what feels like ages while Jess and Keenan were on their honeymoon. Not only was it amazing to get to spend some much needed time with my besties, but it was awesome to get the California grand tour from some true Cali-lovers. 

First stop, Disneyland.

Disneyland was everything I have ever dreamed of and more. 

 

Hollywood!

It wouldn't be Hollywood without some celebrity sightings. We briefly saw J-Lo and Juno Temple.

 Cupcake ATM.... Yes please.

  Los Angeles LDS Temple. What a beauty.

 Sorry Gulf of Mexico... You dont even begin to compare. (and I can't believe I just said that because I am Texan.)

 and then Solvang.

Aebleskivers. Even better than expected.

French waffels in there. Yum.

 Basically all we did was go from treat shop to treat shop getting all of the best food in town.

Basically it was the best week. I had the time of my life. Thanks Kaity, Andy, Andrew, and Buffy for giving me a wonderful week. Let's do it again soon yeah?

Carli